Poorly blogging about smoke alarms in 3 or 5 acts

Every once in a while all I have learned in a week cannot be connected by anything particularly clever, and I just spew random facts.  I don’t even have anything to yell about. Next weekend I will be in town doing nothing that is open to the public or of general interest.

The most interesting parts of my life right now are off limits to this blog: the antics of my house-mates, finances (in any detail), and my still essentially non-existent love life. There is, to be clear, no actual news on any of those fronts. But there are plans, some clearly insane, and they are off limits here. Because I don’t want to break news to (or tip off) people who actually know me through my silly blog.

So lessons learned that are in-bounds, going roughly backwards through the week.

GAFT cover image

This is from the “Pilot Episode”

In the draft of Go Action Fun Time, I write at some length about how episodes (aka adventure or modules in other games) are broken into the traditional 3 act structure for a lot of reasons.

Episodic TV actually runs in five acts. But, in our defense, those are hour long dramas. We are simulating a half-hour action cartoon. Besides, I like what I wrote, and I am keeping to 3 acts.

I may though, go to 12 pt courier on everything, in line with these standards. 

 

On a busy construction site, late in the game (when guys like me saunter in) there will be active smoke alarms. And if your work makes a lot of smoke or dust, you will set these off, and this is bad. Especially if you’re working (as a hypothetical example)  on a partially occupied hospital. You might be tempted, rather than go through the process of filling out forms and getting clearance to bypass the alarms, to just tape over them. Don’t. Not just because it’s not the Right Procedure, and not just because the tape might not work anyway, but because the act of removing that tape will absolutely set off the alarm.

And then you find yourself standing in the warm sunshine of a late August morning in Phoenix with every other person on the jobsite while the GC goes on about this at some length, and threatens to dismiss the next clown he catches doing this.

Writer at work

The cheesy graphic Patel used. I learn from the best!

On occasion my curiosity mixes with abit of greed and I wonder how I might make some money off a blog. This leads me predictably to other blogs blogging about monetizing blogs. The best I’ve come across in NeilPatel.com, where the always upbeat Patel will explain with a breezy blog voice and a ton of screen-captured statistics how everything I do here at WHWL? is wrong.

  • My posts are too short (1800-2400 words is what you want for Google to take you seriously and yet still have a chance of someone finishing the article.  My posts weight in around 850)
  • My posts are not focused on a  single topic that would be known to attract readers. They are usually a little more focused than this, but not much. But I do not research possible topics by SEO strength.
  • My posts are not structured. I do not do number lists or this-then-that explainers.
  • I don’t have consistent video content.
  • I don’t have pop-up boxes asking you to subscribe.
  • I don’t buy targeted advertising

What impressed me most about Patel though is his easy-breezy writing voice that whisks you through some relative thick material before you even know it.

https://neilpatel.com/blog/how-to-become-a-better-blog-writer-in-30-days/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/content-marketing-works/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/the-future-of-seo/

 

There is no decent place to eat breakfast on a weekend morning in Show Low unless you are local. Conversely, I was able to get a decent breakfast with little drama in the far smaller burg of Overgaard. Go figure.

Bongo Overgaard

Breakfast in Overgaard

I was up in and around Show Low for a friend’s wedding. I shouldn’t get seriously drunk at wedding receptions, it seems. I’m still a bit too bitter.

I enjoyed the drive home though.

Bongo SaltRBridge

WORD COUNT

Last week’s What Have We Learned? = 1000 words

Monday Night Writer’s Group = 5000 words (even though I was the only one who showed up). (Again.)

2 hours editing Go Action Fun Time = 1000

2 hours revising my novelette “Enrinyes” = 1000

Good thing too! The file labelled “submittal copy” still had “2nd draft” pasted in the header among other problems.

Thursday night writer’s Group = 500 (this group is still well-attended!)

Hand-written draft of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk and beyond) = 900 words.

4900 words. Close enough.

[750 words]

Advertisements

What Value Book Events?

As I am calculating my word count for the week, what value, in words, do I put on sitting most of Saturday at the Payson Book Fest?

Sure, it took all day, but I only sold 2 books – and that counts a trade with another author. And this is at a book festival – presumably my target audience.

And it’s not as if no one was selling. The well-known and extroverted author across the aisle was selling a book an hour. He had several titles, the ability to cut deals, and a well-worn patter: “Hi! What do you like to read? Well, right here I have a book that’s vaguely like that. But just today I’ll sell you the whole series as a bundle for $12…”

My informal tracking had him landing a sale one out of three times.

I sold one, and she bought every separate title at our table, and had her money out before I even made my pitch.

I am not shy, but I am not pushy. I lack the chutzpah to pull people in like a carny. And, for the record, I am totally one of the people the extroverted author does not sell a book to. I have an elevator pitch “The adventure of Jack after the Beanstalk...”  and a few other lines from my marketing pitch, but you would have to come to me.

A few did, and they listened to my pitch, and said they would think about it and maybe come back. None did.

How do we value a well-intentioned waste of time?

Or was it wasted?

Besides the fact that I sold two more books than I would have binge-watching Narcos, there may some real, if hard to quantify value for doing these events. Because a lot of people go to these things and only buy a small fraction of the books they will eventually purchase. And a lot of them just come to window shop.

There is a vague thing in sales called the Rule of 7, which states, essentially, it takes seven contacts, or “touches”, with a potential customer before they even begin to think about a purchase. Those seven touches (on average) (and this theory varies widely by source) are why sellers add marketing on top of sales.

So if I think of it as marketing, then maybe some good? Maybe those two or three near misses I had  will buy the book later.

http://www.mysticpublishersinc.com/store/product/beanstalk-and-beyond/
The book you didn’t buy. There! I touched you!

That’s an awful lot of maybes to clear a Saturday for. But I camped afterwards in the coolish pines, and that was definitely worth it.

hammockrig

The part that was worth it.

 

WORD COUNT:

 

Last week’s WHWL? = 1000

Last week’s Monday night group = 500

Editing Go Action Fun Time with the new mechanic, and just cleaning up the copy, 3 hours at 500 words/hour = 1500

Thursday Night group = 500

Handwritten draft of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice = about 500 words.

(Written at the  Book Fest, as I was not barking like a carny).

If I count a Book Event at a thousand words – I hit my 5k goal.

In the end, it’s worth what I say it’s worth, isn’t it?

 

Now we know.

Word Count Returns

I have made word count for the first time in over a month and I am…

Wait. I have to shout something first. Stand back a bit, will ya? Thanks.

 

I WILL BE AT THE PAYSON FESTIVAL OF BOOKS ON JULY 21ST!

cropped-7k9a7367-1400x750-ver21

Yes, Payson – that dry little city in the pines where it will not be (quite) a hundred and fuck. I will be there selling books, officially, Beanstalk and Beyond, and unofficially, I will have some hiking guides handy as well.

Particulars:

The Payson Book Festival [http://www.paysonbookfestival.org/] will be held Saturday, July 21, 2018 from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Mazatzal Hotel and Casino, Hwy 87 mile marker 251, Payson, AZ 85541.

Authors from throughout the state will sign and sell fiction and non-fiction books of many genres. “Buckshot Dot” will share her original western poetry and songs. Other presenters include Liz Warren, fourth-generation Arizonan and nationally known storyteller, who will spin tales, YA author Janette Rallison, Science Fiction author J.L. Doty, author and screenwriter Tom Morrissey and APW author Patricia Brooks. Kids can meet the Cat in the Hat and Story Monster at storytime sessions. [website]

I’ll be at the Mystic Publishing booth #61 (out of 61).

https://goo.gl/maps/gC8uK5DakSD2

We have been warned that area hotels are full, (not from our event) so this may test my speed-camping skills. Normally, this would segway into a camping spot discussion, adorned with a link to my hiking blog, but that blog is still caput. {click here to see for yourself how well my publisher supports me}. {Yes, I am still angry}

I know places, though. Not a question of will I find a place to sleep. Just a question of whether I can make the meet and greet. 

Now that I have some control over my creative time, rebuilding that Are We Lost Yet? needs to make the agenda.

It competes, at the moment, with Go Action Fun Time. My day at Crit Hit filled me with renewed optimism for this project (both my game sessions filled) and I have developed a streamlined dice mechanic that made those sessions much easier to manage.

If you’ve played Go Action Fun Time, the next paragraph will make some sense. If you haven’t, I will not fault you for skipping down.

GAFT does not yet have a separate blog in which I would drivel on about the new mechanic, so let me spew it out briefly here: Instead of Core + Stats + Talents + Focus each adding (or subtracting) dice from the roll, only the Core ios represented by dice. The rest are just straight adds to the roll.  Much faster. We tested this at Crit Hit.

GAFT Foxhunt color2

The (evil) uplifted fox inexplicably survived.

I have a tentative  commitment to a gaming con in California in October (because my rescue hobo talks me into this sort of crap), and my ambitious goal is to have a published version of the game for sale by that point, even if only a PDF.

But I have to re-write the rules between here and there.

WORD COUNT:

We go Sunday night to Sunday night.

WHWL from July 9 = 1000 words.

Monday night writer’s group counts as 500, even though, because of rain and vacations, I was the only one who showed up.

Fantastical History from July 10 about lessons from Leprecon  = 1000 words.

Editing One of 64 in preparation to hand off to an editor (in preparation for eventual self publishing) = 500 words.

Submitting a short story to Clarkesworld (which they efficiently rejected = 500 words.

[I over-value submissions because I want to encourage myself to submit).

Thursday night writer’s group = 500 words.

Two playtests of Go Action Fun Time at Crit Hit = 1000 words

[500 words each – as a critique group meeting, because it has a similar function.]

Finishing the hand-written draft of the Isle of Monks chapter of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk and Beyond) = 1000 words. (well, likely closer to 750.)

So 5750 words.

That means good whiskey.

Well, moderate whiskey – I’m shaving some costs to make that bet with the credit card company.

Now we know.

[660 words]

 

Tempe ComicCon is still kicking my ass

Last Saturday I spent the day sitting under my publisher’s canopy at the Tempe ComicCon. Or Comic Event, Or whatever. Ever since San Diego sued Vegas, no one knows what to call themselves anymore.

26993602_10211504930004659_4359609649977180624_n

Where books sales do not actually happen.

I came away with two sales of Beanstalk and Beyond – both to people I knew – and an upper respiratory infection, likely triggered by allergies. That’s not a good return on investment.

I am not a hard-charging sales guy. I’m going to sit in the corner and doodle on my pad until you ask me a question. We had a few more extroverted authors who chatted up the few folks who stopped inside long enough to be chatted up. One of them sold a book to someone she didn’t now. But our total sales for the day was five, and that counts a trade.

This cannot be The Way.

I must confess here that I have long known this to be a poor strategy. Long ago, I swore to myself that I would not be that author sitting at a con with three books on a table in front of him that no one wants to buy; just sitting there looking sad. These events are distribution channels, but they are not marketing opportunities.

Very few people will impulse buy a book at an event like this. Nothing you do in  the booth is likely to change that. You do your marketing somewhere else.

Behold actual evidence:

gallup-poll-how-readers-select-books

This is taken from a good article by John Brown. It’s just one survey, but I have seen similar results elsewhere.

Let me summarize the factors driving book buying decisions, in order, in larger font:

  1. Previous positive experience wit the author’s work.
  2. Recommendation from a friend
  3. Browsing in a bookstore or library – or rather – the cover.
  4. Reviews
  5. Subject or genre preference

Other factors drop off steeply from there. An increasing part of factor three is search engine positioning. That’s becoming the new bookshelf.

The point of all this is that I had a lot of time to think, while blowing my nose, and I may be forming a Plan. But not enough of one that I can just blurt it out on a blog.

WORD COUNT

2000 total words on Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk).

1100 on Echoes (the sequel to The 64)

900 on last week’s WHWL?

1200 word equivalent finishing a page for the One of 64 webcomic. (Not the page posted. I’m still a few weeks ahead.)

And I’m going to give myself 1000 words for sitting in that damn booth all day.

That’s 6200. No wonder I’m beat.

Now we know.

The completion of 51 orbits

Yesterday (Jan 22) was my birthday, which is less of a thing to me than it seems to be on Facebook. There is no particular party planned, past or present. I mention this because people ask.

Even though just about every particular of my life has changed in the past 12 months, in a lot of ways, nothing has changed at all. If that seems contradictory you are not watching me putter around the house.  I’ve learned some important and hard lessons, but they are mostly deeply personal and peculiar to the people in my life. For more general wisdom, I will refer you to what I wrote a year ago, which I still stand by.

Here’s what you can do while not attending my non-existent birthday party:

THIS SATURDAY I will be at Tempe “ComicCon” at the Tempe Public Library hawking Beanstalk and Beyond.  The term “ComicCon” is in quotes because they are not supposed to use the term, but they had already named the thing when that judgement came down from on high.

Beanstalk Conicon 2018

You can also meet the man who put together this poster

Saturday, January 27, 2018
10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

TPL Comicon 2017

The Library Comicon is an annual event featuring costume contests, artists & authors, shopping, and activities for children and adults alike.  Fans of Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Wholocks, Trekkies, and more are invited to gather at the Tempe Public Library in costume for a celebration of pop culture.

 

I’ll be in the booth with a good pen and my sparkling wit. I hope to see you there.

 

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE

It appears that I gave $50 to Barefoot Writers* so I could get 3+ e-mails a day detailing other exiting opportunities to spend even more money, but only if I act right now. More grievous is the inrush of spam mail aimed at the economically desperate – spurious investment opportunities and credit cards I qualify for no matter what.

If copy-writing were really that lucrative and/or understaffed, I’d get like one letter with a take-or-or-leave-it offer. Because they have copy-writing to get back to. The hard sell I’m getting likely means they make more money off of desperate wannabe’s than desperate marketing clients.

Compare/contrast with Marketing Profs Today, a more generic marketing resource, from which I also get regular e-mail. They also offer plenty of opportunities for me to spend more money. Their newsletter, though, will have links to five articles, four of which will have actual content and free – once you click through the pop-ups (this is typical)** . (The fifth will be behind a pay wall.)

All I get from AWAI (the actual acronym for the organization behind Barefoot Spammers) is  bland advice I could get following writers on Twitter, followed by a thousand word hard-sell.

I’ve blown $50 on dumber things, and I had ti to blow at the the time. I’m not wealthy, but I’m solvent enough that $50 by itself does not threaten the budget. Even so, the next bit of curiosity I might satisfy is: will they really give me my money back as claimed?

[*] I am not going to dignify these people with a link. They are not hard to find if you are curious.

[**] You’ll have to give info for a free membership/subscription.

WORD COUNT

1200 words of transcription duty on Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (sequel to Beanstalk and Beyond) on Monday, and then another 1200 original words on that same project on Saturday.

500 words for work-shopping that on the Monday night Central Phoenix Writer’s Workshop.

1500 words on a chapter for Echoes, the sequel to One of 64.

500 words for work-shopping same at the Armadillo Group.

Six panels for the One of 64 webcomic colored (at 200 “words” each) for 600 words.

That’s 5400 words.

A glass of good whiskey, then, and one more time around the sun.

You were warned.

Marketing to writers trying to market trying to…

Last Friday, I did a radio interview for the Author’s Show, and “internet radio” show featuring various authors.  My airdate is November 27 – when you can hear it all day Channel 3.

From their website:

Web

Don’t click – I stole this!

The Authors Show is more than a “show” in the traditional sense of the word.  It is a professional book marketing audio & video program  that offers participants  multiple benefits that authors who are serious about marketing their work need to consider, especially inasmuch as these benefits have long lasting effects.

 

A cynic might say that their primary target is the authors themselves, to whom they will happily sell MP3’s of these interviews starting at $129 and going up quickly from there. I’m not that excited about posting a interview on my website so that six people might listen to it. If I had the distribution platform to make such a thing worthwhile, I could produce an in-house recording of similar quality (I know folk) for less money.

BUT I learned a lot. First of all the guy on the other end of the phone had a spiel about how book marketing actually works, and I was going to listen to it until he ran out of string.

To summarize his Ted Talk, internet marketing is all about getting as high as you can on search engine results. If your work does not appear on the first three pages, you might as well not exist. This is how people look for books. Everything else, your promo posts on social media, your book trailer on You Tube, your well meaning engagement on GoodReads, all of that accounts for a fraction of a percent of typical sales.

We find books by search engine.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with engaging potential readers on Faceplace or Flitter, but that’s basically busy work; waving your hands around so that your publisher thinks you’re trying. Never spend real money on that sort of thing.

The only marketing worth spending money on is that which raises you ij search engines: SEO, site design, and soul-squashingly dull stuff like that..

The other thing I learned is that cell phones are worthless for internet audio. They were very gracious about rescheduling for when I could Skype in. And they asked a bunch of softball questions designed to help me sell my book.  So I’ll stop bagging on them, even though I’m not likely to buy their MP3 of my own voice.

http://www.mysticpublishersinc.com/store/product/beanstalk-and-beyond/

An actual book you can buy!

 

Compare and contrast the Tempe Book Festival where we sold three books, all mine, [Beanstalk and Beyond] and all to people I knew.  Now, I believe the actual purpose was to recruit writers rather than sell books to readers, in which case the Tempe event was a rich environment.

 

Yes- Mystic Publishers  is taking submissions.

 

I am told, anecdotally, that I am one of their best sellers. Maybe because I’m marketing to readers, and not writers.

Now we know.

 

PS:

If you made it down this far, we’re friends, and you should now that I am moving. Down the block. Because reasons. So if you feel like you haven’t moved enough crappy furniture, or don’t have enough crappy furniture of your own [and it’s still November 2017] contact me, because I have a surplus of both opportunities.

Beanstalk and Beyond now out in Digital formats

For those of you demanding a version of my novel, Beanstalk and Beyond, in some format hat you can’t hold in your hand, or drop in the bathtub, I have good news!

Newlink Publishing has put all the bits and bytes together in multiple formats for your reading enjoyment. You can find them at Smashwords

http://www.mysticpublishersinc.com/store/product/beanstalk-and-beyond/

The digital version is not this thick.

And if you want a book to hold in your actual hands, you can buy from direct from the publisher.

 

Or, you know, Amazon. If you have to.

It’s on Kindle now too – if you feel like you have to conform.