Answers to your questions in no particular order

We’ve been busy around here, what with comprehensive life-event changes and all.  I could, I suppose craft some winding narrative that artfully leads us all down the winding road past all these changes and what we have learned from them, or I could just blurt out some answers.

Reflecting upon the remaining To Do list, I chose B.

Here are some answers to questions you asked (at least in my mind):

Married life is treating my very well, so far, thank you.

Yes, there have been some adjustments, but we’ve both been married before, and we have both shared a residence with each other for weeks at a time before, so most of the questions are “Where are we going to put this thing?”

We think we had a hundred people all told in and out of the house during the wedding.  The goal was 60. We provisioned for 80. There were no disasters. Keep flying.

Somewhere in this pile is everything we need.

I was not actually that drunk. I dance that badly sober.

We do not need anything, thank you. We got way more than we asked for at the wedding. Also, we are middle-aged adults who both ended up with most of their respective households following the divorce.

Why yes, I did get copies of The Secret history of Empress Em in time for Westercon.  Mainly because I had them shipped to the hotel in Tonopah. These are technically proof versions – you print one to see how it looks, but I printed ten because vending. I have [goes to count…] five left if you want one.

They might someday be collector items.

The first version is always the best? [Art by Rose Wolf]

Westercon (at least this year) was a social gathering for people to LARP SFF cons as they were 30 years ago, only without near as many people. It’s not feasible to go to Anaheim for this thing in 2023. We have been invited to Salt Lake City in 2024, where the organizers assure us it will not be this dull small.

Bongo soaking up the excitement of Westercon 74 in the Tonopah Convention Center.

Cheryl and I took a class in regency dancing, which was not the disaster you might have  predicted watching me dance at my wedding.

If you don’t count the hotel cost, the limited version of the UnObtanium Bazaar made money – but mostly because of one customer. (I was supposed to have paid for this with points, but the credit card I used to reserve the room expired before we got there, and in transferring, we magically lost the points. Thanks for nothing, Best Western.

Gracie Shotz making the money.

The best bar in Tonopah stocks 100 different kinds of whiskey. I don’t remember the name, but they are the only bar open after 9pm.

Bongo at La Posada

The Las Posada Hotel is the best part of Winslow AZ, full stop. It was also the Actual Honeymoon portion of our journey, so Full Stop there, as well. If you are curious, La Posada will tell you all about itself.

We did not take a picture standing on the corner. Didn’t get to it. Oh darn.

UnObtanium at Medieval Mayhem in Show Low AZ

Medieval Mayhem in Show Low is a fun little ren faire, and we will be going back. Learned some hard lessons about the bell tent vs rain, but this was nuisance, not crisis. For a fair that drew maybe a thousand people counting all the staff, we did pretty well.

And there are worse ways to spend a July Saturday if you live in Phoenix – just saying.

The Dodge Journey is less like a long SUV and more like a short mini-van. And the touch screen interface is way more complicated than it needs to be. But it holds a lot of stuff, and gave us no problems until it was time to tow the trailer.

The Journey on the journey.

The Dodge Journey will not recognize that is has a towing harness unless you get the dealership to flash the computer. This cannot be accomplished in either Show Low or Payson on a Monday morning. Happily, I have long experience with derelict vehicles and know how to mitigate/hide the fact that I had no effective brake lights – all the way down the mountain.

Now that the trailer we borrowed (Thanks James!) is returned, getting this done is a low priority, but I have a bad feeling that when it happens, there will be a story.

I have hiked exactly twice in South Mountain Park since I moved here. There has been a basically continuous excessive heat advisory for most of that span.

WORD COUNT:

I write virtually nothing in the two weeks of wedding/vending/honeymoon/vending. The week after was spent sorting boxes so we could get the boxes we had to sort so we could unload the show and sort that. That madness goes on (for months, perhaps), but I was able to get some words down since last Tuesday:

Editing a section of Events on Loki = 500 words

It was actually close to 2000 total words, but editing is not writing.

Events on Loki is the novella-length prequel to Empress M and other works in that universe.

Writer’s Group = 500 words

Adapting Tom Swift (Sr) into a sample cast member of Go Action Fun Time: 1000 words.

The senior Tom Swift, who premiered in 1910, is largely public domain.  I didn’t create any original art for him, but I can’t cite the images I’m stealing appropriating with any confidence. So, these are place-holders.

Ember – the last of the Aziza.

Creating Ember, the last Aziza, a cast member for Go Action Fun Time: 1000 words.

Image for Ember = 2000

Full color adds a thousand words. Reminder to myself to cancel my free trial of Adobe stock images (the background source.

Ember is #36. I now have my full Sample Cast for Go Action Fun Time. Huzzah!

You can read more about this at Curious Continuity!

I’m at 5000 without including the internal GAFT playtesting I did Sunday, or this blog.

Guess I’m starting to settle in.

Now we know.

What was lost in Dilkon

Ruby, with dead battery, is somewhere under that shade…

Over the past few months, I was sent to program lighting at the Dilkon Regional Medical Center in Dilkon, AZ, within the Navajo reservation.  I do not have many day-job adventures that are both interesting, and in-bounds for open disclosure.

Through a combination of poor fortune and self-created folly, Dilkon proved to be expensive, with each of the expeditions being more expensive than the last.

Let’s pause here to clarify: I do not mean travel expenses. My company picks that up. And while the work was more troublesome than it needed to be, that was a product of the locale and personnel involved, and not generally instructive. Also, there were more than the three trips I am about to describe, but these were the major expeditions.

We have already described one adventure related to this job. This would turn out to be foreshadowing.

1^st Visit- January 2022

Navajo burger

There are two places I found to eat lunch in Dilkon, and by that I mean pick up the food and eat it in your car. The Navajo Nation was (and still is at this writing) 100% masks indoors, and indoor dining is out-of-the-question.  There is a food stand in a dirt lot that will sell you a Navajo burger, a double green-chile burger in a pita of some sort. Or you could go to the pizza place, and get a slice or pie of arguably the best pizza for 50 miles in any direction. (It is honestly decent if not outstanding pizza.

Having learned the day before that a Navajo burger will sit in my stomach like a boulder for three hours, I had gotten some pizza, driven back to the jobsite and ate my slices while listening the NPR station I could kinda-get out there on the car radio. When I finished, I tossed my crusts to the stray, or at least unleashed dogs waiting for that, and went back in to work.

I came back out at the end of the day to discover my battery dead. I then discovered that I had not gotten back (or replaced) the jumper cables I had loaned to my child.

Happily, one of the electricians hadn’t left yet. After failing to jump the car with his cables, we ruled the battery dead. Dilkon has a grocery store, and two convenience stores, none of which carry jumper cables, much less car batteries.

Good fortune balanced poor fortune when it turned out the electrician passed through Winslow, where my hotel was, on his way back to north of Flagstaff somewhere.

His daily commute was close to 90 minutes. I added twenty more at the auto parts store (just down the road from my hotel) where I purchased the second most expensive battery on the shelf (cheap parts die with simple radio play in deeply rural parking lots) and a set of jumper cables.

He added five more minutes picking me up in the pre-dawn gloom the next morning.

It’s forty minutes from Winslow to Dilkon, during which I learned a a lot about this man’s family problems and his relationship to Jesus, none of which is fodder for this space. I also learned that people in and around Dilkon have been driving as far New Mexico for simple medical services.

So, it’s nice to be part of a project that is clearly necessary. We have surprisingly few of those.

 2^nd Visit – Late February – early March 2022

On my way back from Two Rivers (next to last post – I’ve been busy) the power steering died in the truck.

Verity – new to me.

While I bought Verity as a back-up vehicle, Oliver, my child, has been using it as a primary vehicle to and forth from Phoenix College and related young adult adventures. Oliver lacks the size and skill to manage a pick-up truck without power steering.

Warned that it could be a while before I had the time or money to fixt the truck, Oliver convinced one of their young adult friends to fix it – at my expense, but not at a lot of expense.

The repair happened while I was in Dilkon.

Then as Oliver drove the newly nimble Verity about the oil light came on. Knowing the oil had been recently changed, Oliver chose to ignore it and keep driving – until Verity threw a rod.

Throwing a rod is generally fatal to twenty-year-old pick-ups.

Verity + Rattletrap

Yet times are strange. I bought that thing for about $5k – pre-pandemic. The replacement cost for a similar vehicle now would be something like $7-8k as I understand the market now. The part-time mechanic (who likely destroyed the thing in the first place) has offered to replace the engine at cost. He thinks that could be below $3k. I am not so certain. I have tasked Oliver with that research, and that is ongoing.

Bongo at Homolovi

Meanwhile , Lyft charges appear randomly on one of my credit cards.

There was a mid-February visit during which I visited the Homolovi State Park.

It went without further disaster.

3^rd Visit 23-24 March 2022

UnObtanium at Pirate Fest

This visit took place two days before Unobtanium was to appear at the Las Vegas Pirate Fest. My tow vehicle is dead in my backyard, and while Ruby has a towing hitch (that I had installed) the Subaru Forester is not a good towing vehicle. Las Vegas is 350 miles and four good climbs from Phoenix.

My first thought was to rent a van. Inventory inside the van, tent and gear in Rattle-trap. But no one, I mean no one, rents a van with a tow hitch.

U-Haul, however, will rent a pick-up with a tow hitch – even for an out-of-state run. So I thought I had done that.

I burn back home from Dilkon, slide into U-Haul minutes before closing, and discover they have not the pick-up I had confirmed and paid for.

I towed Rattletrap to Las Vegas in a 12’ box truck, which had plenty of capacity but over-all cost me $800 I’ll never get back. Impoverished and emboldened by that experience I then towed that same rig with Ruby, my Subaru Forester, on the shorter and flatter run to Lake Havasu City for the London Bridge Ren Faire.

Ruby+Rattletrap at LBRF

The listed towing capacity of a 2015 Subaru Forester is 1500#. I don’t know how much Rattletrap plus the Unobtanium tent and inventory actually weigh, but Ruby can tow it as long as we stay under 75 mph.

Traversing I-10 westbound at or near the posted limit does not improve the scenic value of the journey.

FTR – London Bridge RF actually takes place on the shadeless, packed dirt expanse of the county rodeo grounds.

The big bell tent held up just fine.

UnObtanium at London Bridge RF complete with tent.

When the smoke cleared:

• The Dilkon Medical Center is still not open (medical facilities dawdle forever before opening) by my lighting is complete.
• Ruby survived her Reservation country and towing adventures.
• If you don’t count the U-Haul fee, UnObtanium made money at both events.
  • We plan to return to both next year.
• And Verity still sits in my backyard, with her new roof rack still in place. If you want or need a 2001 Dodge Dakota with a blown engine, make me an offer.

Now we know.

How persistence might bend the Skill to Luck Ratio

Taliesin’s Last Apprentice comes out next November. Unobtanium Bazar has achieved a preliminary goal of becoming lucrative enough to pose a tax concern.  My Beloved Suns are bound for the playoffs.  I am actually on pace with external and internal deadlines for Go Action Fun Time.  It’s almost enough to make you believe in hard work and persistence.

https://www.nba.com/suns/were-back# “Which way do we go to get to the Playoffs?”

Teams that consider themselves contenders do not worry about who they play in the first round.

If you follow the NBA, you already know the defending champion Los Angeles Lakers have had their two big stars benched most of the season due to injuries, and have barely qualified for the playoffs. In fact, they have to win a play-in game Wednesday against Golden State for the right to face the #2 seed – My Beloved Suns.

This has caused wailing among the partisans, for after 11 years out of the play-offs we had nearly forgotten how to hope. At the beginning of the season, the Lakers were figured to finish no worse than #2, and we were pencilled to possibly win a play-in game. In reality, those fortunes are reversed – but not our advantage, the reasoning goes, because now we face the full strength Lebron-era Lakers in round one. There might no be a round two.

Now, put aside the fact that if any lower seed can beat the Lakers in one high-stakes game, it’s Golden State. If the Lakers come through the door first, I am not worried about Lebron James or Anthony Davis dunking at will. The Suns are actually a match for them offensively.

https://www.lineups.com/nba/team-rankings

The Lakers have one of the best defenses in the league, and rebound well, which is how they stayed in contention. The Suns defend well (5^th-8^th best in the NBA depending on what metric you use) and rebound decently. So if you need to worry about something, worry about D’Andre Ayton trying to box out Anthony Davis. If Ayton can at least hold his own, and he has the tools to do that, the Suns will be OK.

My Beloved Suns are one of the few teams enjoying a top 10 offense and a top 10 defense. Of course, so do the Jazz, Clippers, Sixers, Nets and Nuggets. Those are your contenders.

Among them, it will come down to who wants it the most, and who gets that little bit of luck at the right time.

Ball sports are compelling because that ratio of skill to luck is actually the exception in human endeavors.

Capitalism is like solitaire, in that there is a little bit of skill to it, but it is, in the sober daylight, mostly luck.

I play a lot of solitaire on my laptop[s] because it requires sufficient concentration to be distracting, but I can also end it abruptly without consequence when the firmware is updated, or the client finally calls me back with an answer.  The Random Salad version I run on my home machine has Vegas rules which is a cumulative score, but you can only go three times through the deck.

Now the math: there’s a $50 buy-in per hand. A full win pays like $250. My winning percentage stands at 11%. So if you need to win every five hands to break even, but you realistically only win once every 10 hands, this is a losing formula, right?

So I give myself $500 or about 10 hands if I fail to score with any of them.  (I can’t do this in the software, I just have to keep track). If I go below -$500, I lose and have to clear the stats and start over. If I clear over $1000 I declare that I am not going to go broke after that, and also clear the stats.

I lose about 30% of the time – which is the first year failure rate for small businesses. I’ve played easily a thousand games, and my win rate persists at 11%. I’ve maxed out the skill bonus. What makes the difference is the persistence to wait out the bad luck and pounce upon the good fortune.

Now, news:

Go Action Fun Time will resume at my house or by Discord next Tuesday, May 18, 2021 when we will Alpha Test “Dungeon of Darkest Doom”. Meaning I will at least dry run random Sample Cast characters through it, whether any of you show up or not.

I have completed the edits for Taliesin’s Last Apprentice, the sequel to Beanstalk and Beyond. It has a tentative November 2021 release date.

This is a big image because I am announcing a release date.

My version of a Sea Devil

UnObtanium Bazaar has some indoor appearances in August, and some outdoor appearances in September, which we will announce when everything is 100%.

Over on Fantastical History I muse about Sea Devils, or Sahaugin, or Makara, or… its murky.

Over on Are We Lost Yet? We hike up West Pinto Creek in the eastern Superstitions.

Bongo on West Pinto Trail

Now we know.

Some scattered notes between festivals

Some short doses of things we have learned over the past couple of weeks, mostly without context. But first, we are between events. So…

UnObtanium Bazaar will be at the Las Vegas Pirate Fest this weekend!

And Cheryl will be dancing with Shifting Sands.

Feb 29, 2020; Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

I’ll admit it: I groaned when My Beloved Suns traded Ricky Rubio for Chris Paul. After all, in the shortened 2020 season Rubio was averaging more assists than Paul (who then playing for the Thunder) while scoring only 3 fewer PPG on a Suns team that really didn’t need him to score anymore.  And they went 8-0 in the Bubble with Rubio running the point.

The difference is defense and a culture of defense. Rubio is a good defender, but not the legend that Chris Paul is (6 time steals leader, 9 time All-Defensive team).  And while Rubio was an established veteran who had won championships in Europe, he did not have the credibility or personality to herd a bunch of young wildcats into playing team defense.

Chris Paul is on those boys All The Time, and they are responding.  Sometimes I wonder if Monty Williams’s true role is to attend meeting with management and do the paperwork.

You still feel for Rubio – who was doing a good job, and looking forward to a near-certain playoff run with the Suns this year, instead of maybe playing into the playoffs with his final destination, the Minnesota Timberwolves. But then I reflect that he’s still a millionaire, and the Suns are legit contenders now.

The little mountain range that separates Yuma from the rest of the damn desert is called the Fortuna Foothills. The Border Patrol no longer regularly operates the checkpoint going east into the pass, but it has become a favorite haunt of the Arizona Highway Patrol.

The speed limit on the winding, splitting I-8 through that portion is 55. Not 65.

Just east of the pass there is a safety pull-out and the Az state trooper will be happy to follow you into it, if, for some reason, you are pulled over coming down the pass.

Sometimes its good to be 54, with papers in order.

There are a ridiculous number of online traffic schools listed with azdrive.com.

I got my first vaccination shot. The day after, I came down with what passes – for me- as COVID symptoms: achy with no temperature, but likely elevated blood pressure. (I did not check). This might have been compounded by my thinking “Nah, my arm doesn’t hurt enough to stop me from finishing this yard work”.  Two hours later I’m putting away the tools because it has become clear I will not have the energy to do anything else. I was laid up the rest of the day.

I have to bury that story in my blog instead of telling it on Facebook, because I don’t want to hear about from the crazies. Two days after the shot, I was able to go to work, and the only pain I have is clearly from yardwork.

Over on Are We Lost Yet?, I learned how steep Picacho Peak really is.

After next weekend, I do not have a scheduled author or UnObtanium event until July. You know what that means…

Go Action Fun Time! Every other week.

Also, I am officially in the editing phase of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to the Beanstalk and Beyond) and we are hoping for a November release date.

Now we know.

All my mess going forward

It’s all my mess going forward. 

The map of Arizona that now hangs in my Arizona room, and makes me irrationally happy.

I have finally cleaned the back rooms of the house including the hall bathroom. All summer, a pair of gender-fluid twenty-somethings used my hall bathroom as a make-up studio hair salon for themselves and their friends. It’s not spotless now (this house is old) but it no longer looks like that happened. 

I also mopped the back bedroom for the first time since I moved in. 

For those who don’t follow my antics in person or on social media, Rey and the entourage have gotten themselves their own apartment, and I live alone again. Which is sometimes sad, but mostly great. 

I can walk around naked. I put things places and they stay there until I move them. All the media devices are under my control. And any mess going forward is my fault. 

As it should be. 

Our best face forward.

Unobtanium Bazaar – the website – is live!

https://www.unobtaniumbazaar.com

There are products for sale that you can buy with your magic plastic. 

Unless you are in Europe – there’s a declaration I have to have on file about privacy, and I haven’t gotten to that bit yet. 

In the sinkhole of time that the Mohave Ren Faire created (see last three posts) I lost my chance of having my space opera come out as a book by Christmas. This would be a longshot anyway, mostly due to the lead time on cover art (even if I did it myself). 

I hate breaking promises to myself. But all is not lost. A revised (dare I say “Deluxe”) version of Go Action Fun Time is nearly complete. This will replace the one extant on RPG drive-thru. I just locked the main copy. I have an appendix or two to put together and interior art to add as it comes out of my ass mind. 

Interior art

I have a cover problem here too – but I am more comfortable doing my own cover art fort this project than an actual novel. Comic/cartoon is in my range. 

I’m trying to decide:

The original with a less cluttered background?

Or something like this?

The red oval is where the logo goes.

Chime in down in the comments.

To get either done, I’ll have to bury myself for a couple of weeks. 

Speaking of burying myself, you can read about my mis-adventure in Navajo country in Are We Lost Yet?

Bongo in Navajo country – trying to hide his disappointment.

Now we know. 

Catching up with some quick lessons

I took a vacation, followed by back-to-back conventions in and around an extended visitation from Earl, and now that is all over, and I have my life back, and some time to reflect.

For those that know and/or care about Earl Hedges, he has left for Rochester NY on adventures, and will not have reliable internet for some time. That is what I know.

Now, some brief lessons learned in more or less chronological order:

My Vacation

Lo Lo Mai Springs Resort is what any KOA wants to be: over-priced and still worth it. I paid $40 a night for a tent site (which is twice what I might have paid at Dead Horse Ranch State Park, a few miles down the road) and I did not feel cheated at all.

Bongo at Oak creek

Bongo at the spring itself

First of all, we had the place nearly to ourselves until Friday.

Second, our tent site was right on Oak Creek. (Wading around in rivers works leg muscles you did not know you had. )

Bongo at the spring itself

Bongo at Oak creek

Third, they all the KOA-like amenities such as showers, and a store etc. The store is cash only – a handy fact to know in advance.

Fourth, the neighboring property has a group of Alpaca’s, to which Cheryl is partial.

Cheryl and friend.

Yes – it was quite warm, hence our extensive experience with wading around in Oak Creek.

And yes – we were able to hike the West Fork of Oak creek without disaster.

Photo by C Zierman

 

I found I had to choose between quality time with my girlfriend, or documenting antics for Are We Lost Yet? I no longer have the bonuses to do both (if I ever did). AWLY? has not been updated in some time. I regret nothing.

There is probably still a market for a Arizona winery book. Meanwhile, we have these resources:

Verde Valley Wine Trail

CoKoCon

This is still CopperCon in size and spirit (and personnel) .

I played some Go Action Fun Time and moderated some panels.

Spoon theory, I now know after moderating a panel on it, is a metaphor for rationing personal resources while managing a disability. I did not have much to add, as whatever my disaqbilities, energy is not something I have ever had to ration.

RPG’s and writing: “You have to accept your godhood.” – Beth Cato

Do You Need an Editor? Yes.

“Write with abandon. Edit with extreme prejudice.” T.L. Smith

Five Rules of Writing (amended)

1. Show – Don’t Tell
2. Avoid Cliche’s
3. Keep your ass in the chair
4. Use adverbs sparingly.
5. Just get there.

For rule 5  “there” is the story. Start where things start happening, and get to the end expeditiously.

Good world-building insulates you from characters (and player characters) going off the map. BUT BUT BUT the reader only needs to know enough about the world to follow the story. Just get there.

Things that appeared in my inbox:

Remedial crash course in website design: How Not To Suck at Design

Emmy Award-winning showrunner of The Office, Brent Forrester, shares his rules of writing comedy.

And finally some oddly edited but nerdily fascinated backstage action from the Drottningholms Slottsteater.

Drottningholms Slottsteater backstage 5 min from Drottningholms Slottsteater on Vimeo.

 

Now we know.

Things I have done so you don’t have to

As usual, I have been busy: travelling, making things, dramatically reducing the amount of vegetation surrounding my house. Since this is supposedly an author blog, let me lead with that news.

I have uploaded Go Action Fun Time to Drive-thru RPG  and now await their approval.

Yes – my artwork. If you think you can do better, contact me. 

It is only a PDF for now. That was enough of a maze without trying to reformat for e-pub or mobi.  I now know there are six different formats of PDF. And PDF/A is bad. Well, it’s fine, but the security features will lock up the bots at Drive-Thru. Also, compressed or linked JPEGs and transparencies are bad because Apple is i-fussy. I’m not clear what any of that is, so I don’t have to worry?

You, loyal reader, do not have to wait for Drive-Thru’s blessing to get this product. Contact me directly, and I will hook you up. With a commitment to playtest it for me, it would be free.

Bongo at a river-side park in BHC.

I journeyed to Bullhead City on RC Lurie business, so you don’t have to. Bullhead City is a cluster of hills on the banks of the Colorado River, across from Laughlin Nevada – where all the money comes from. On top of each hill is a 55+ trailer park. The exception is along AZ95, the main drag, which is an extended strip mall. You might infer how much I enjoyed my stay.

I’ve actually been there twice. The first stint I stayed at a $40/night motel, where nothing was open after 11pm (I arrived at 10:30pm) and my door didn’t quite lock. They had a fridge and microwave but no coffee. I found coffee in the lobby in the morning, and I survived.

On my return trip, the client put me up in a casino.

Casinos are crappy places to stay when on business. The Avi Casino, south of Laughlin proper,  gave me a room with no fridge, microwave or coffee. It’s like they don’t want you spending time in your room at all.

In fairness, the casino cafe (Feathers – I think) is open 24/7 and I was able to get a decent breakfast and out the door in half an hour.

I had a better time in Las Vegas, as you might imagine. I don’t gamble to speak of, but I drink, and prefer to drink with nerds. For that, Vegas features the Millenium Fandom.

Yes – I have a girlfriend.

True confession: I have never been much for cosplay. Cheryl (my girlfriend)

Cheryl 

 is an actual costumer, though, and views these events as marketing among other things. I now own a pirate shirt, and several other items of clothing I would not otherwise possess.

I’ve done worse things for romance.

 

Closer to home:

I have finally bottled the mead I tossed last summer. It is sweet and fruity and bubbly – like magic unicorn sweet and fruity. I’m mildly disturbed. It’s called Wildflower, and she be recovering from bottle-shock by late April, early May.

 

The internet promised me that replacing my two exterior doors would cost about $800. I’ve had bids from $1800 to $3600. So … that’s a little more. Curiously, the two estimators who quoted me around $1800 took the most measurements and asked the better questions.

It likely come down who provides the better actual door.

There is a 4-6 lead time with door installation.

The tool of choice for removing dandelions from gravel is a pick-ax. A 30 gallon garbage bag stuffed full of decapitated dandelions weighs the better part of 50 lbs. I filled 9 bags.

My arms still hurt.

Now you know.

Poorly blogging about smoke alarms in 3 or 5 acts

Every once in a while all I have learned in a week cannot be connected by anything particularly clever, and I just spew random facts.  I don’t even have anything to yell about. Next weekend I will be in town doing nothing that is open to the public or of general interest.

The most interesting parts of my life right now are off limits to this blog: the antics of my house-mates, finances (in any detail), and my still essentially non-existent love life. There is, to be clear, no actual news on any of those fronts. But there are plans, some clearly insane, and they are off limits here. Because I don’t want to break news to (or tip off) people who actually know me through my silly blog.

So lessons learned that are in-bounds, going roughly backwards through the week.

This is from the “Pilot Episode”

In the draft of Go Action Fun Time, I write at some length about how episodes (aka adventure or modules in other games) are broken into the traditional 3 act structure for a lot of reasons.

Episodic TV actually runs in five acts. But, in our defense, those are hour long dramas. We are simulating a half-hour action cartoon. Besides, I like what I wrote, and I am keeping to 3 acts.

I may though, go to 12 pt courier on everything, in line with these standards. 

 

On a busy construction site, late in the game (when guys like me saunter in) there will be active smoke alarms. And if your work makes a lot of smoke or dust, you will set these off, and this is bad. Especially if you’re working (as a hypothetical example)  on a partially occupied hospital. You might be tempted, rather than go through the process of filling out forms and getting clearance to bypass the alarms, to just tape over them. Don’t. Not just because it’s not the Right Procedure, and not just because the tape might not work anyway, but because the act of removing that tape will absolutely set off the alarm.

And then you find yourself standing in the warm sunshine of a late August morning in Phoenix with every other person on the jobsite while the GC goes on about this at some length, and threatens to dismiss the next clown he catches doing this.

The cheesy graphic Patel used. I learn from the best!

On occasion my curiosity mixes with abit of greed and I wonder how I might make some money off a blog. This leads me predictably to other blogs blogging about monetizing blogs. The best I’ve come across in NeilPatel.com, where the always upbeat Patel will explain with a breezy blog voice and a ton of screen-captured statistics how everything I do here at WHWL? is wrong.

• My posts are too short (1800-2400 words is what you want for Google to take you seriously and yet still have a chance of someone finishing the article.  My posts weight in around 850)
• My posts are not focused on a  single topic that would be known to attract readers. They are usually a little more focused than this, but not much. But I do not research possible topics by SEO strength.
• My posts are not structured. I do not do number lists or this-then-that explainers.
• I don’t have consistent video content.
• I don’t have pop-up boxes asking you to subscribe.
• I don’t buy targeted advertising

What impressed me most about Patel though is his easy-breezy writing voice that whisks you through some relative thick material before you even know it.

https://neilpatel.com/blog/how-to-become-a-better-blog-writer-in-30-days/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/content-marketing-works/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/the-future-of-seo/

 

There is no decent place to eat breakfast on a weekend morning in Show Low unless you are local. Conversely, I was able to get a decent breakfast with little drama in the far smaller burg of Overgaard. Go figure.

Breakfast in Overgaard

I was up in and around Show Low for a friend’s wedding. I shouldn’t get seriously drunk at wedding receptions, it seems. I’m still a bit too bitter.

I enjoyed the drive home though.

WORD COUNT

Last week’s What Have We Learned? = 1000 words

Monday Night Writer’s Group = 5000 words (even though I was the only one who showed up). (Again.)

2 hours editing Go Action Fun Time = 1000

2 hours revising my novelette “Enrinyes” = 1000

Good thing too! The file labelled “submittal copy” still had “2nd draft” pasted in the header among other problems.

Thursday night writer’s Group = 500 (this group is still well-attended!)

Hand-written draft of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk and beyond) = 900 words.

4900 words. Close enough.

[750 words]

Anything but politics

Which, so you know, is a struggle.

We went to Palm Springs (actually Cathedral City, but they are separated by a sidewalk) for Thanksgiving, because family. We now know the chair lift that takes you near the top of 8000 foot San Jacinto mountain costs $27/head. I’d tell you more, but that stopped us right there.

If you want to visit Joshua Tree National Park, the best way in is the south entrance. On what a ranger told us was the busiest day of the year, we entered without wait or charge. The visitor center was jacked, but the entrance was unencumbered.

We saw a tarantula. Joshua Tree is actually kinda sparse on huge wonders you can see from the car. It’s a hiking/climbing destination, and I had the wrong crew for that.

Stopping in Quartzsite for sustenance, we visited the Hi Jolly Memorial – so you don’t have to.

My Rheem gas water heater went 14 years before the bottom rusted out, so I bought another one. If you have an old house, like mine, it is worth it to hire a plumber to replace the corroded, seized valve. But replacing the tank itself can be done by anyone of average handyman competence, and a buddy.

My dog has been laying in the same spot for a third straight day with “Old dog vertibulosis” which is basically vertigo. We have medicine for it. It’s yet to really work. We shall see. The folks at Madison Animal Hospital took us in  minutes before closing on a Sunday night as we clamored in with this 70 pound senile dog that we supposed to be near death. They were very helpful.

At Curious Continuity, ghost universes aren’t the same as time travel.

At Fantastical History, I whine about how deep POV ruined my literary vision for a fairty tale.

And at The64, I announce the novel that will actually happen.

Rejoice in a manner befitting your people.

Also this:

 

Now you know.

Lessons from our 2016 vacation

In late July 2016 (about two months ago) my family took what might be our last vacation as a single nuclear family, heading across California and then up the west coast into Oregon. All told we spent 14 days on the road and traveled just shy of 4000 miles.

Here’s some of what we learned, in approximate order of occurrence:

We learned that the Salton Sea is ringed with a layer of dead fish – and all the magic that comes with that.

In Bishop, California we learned that if you’re not in town before 9pm on a Sunday night, your choice for dinner is Denny’s.

We learned that Yosemite National Park is aswarm through July with bugs; that they are more paranoid about bears than Yellowstone (we were asked to put even our toiletries in bear lockers); that by 11 am, Yosemite valley is flooded with tourists, like Las Vegas/Disneyland densities; that stocking the lakes with trout decimated the local frog population – which aggravates the mosquito problem, that the rangers make really strong coffee, that Tuolumne Meadows – where we camped – has one of the few general stores that is less than an hour’s hike from the Pacific Coast Trail – so consequently it was often filled to overflowing with backpackers; and that Glacier Point is totally worth the drive.

We also learned in Yosemite how our 2009 Hyundai Veracruz handles twisty mountain roads (decently, to our fortune). This sort of driving would turn out to be the rule rather than the exception.

We learned we really, really like our Veracruz for this sort of expedition. The only drawback is that there is an electric motor for every damn thing, and when they fail, the thing fails. Our sun-roof is now sealed with duct tape because it locked up without quite closing. We also learned that no one on the internet seems to know anything about the sun-roof on this particular model.

We learned from Penny’s relations in San Jose that it is possible to become just as trapped by high real estate prices as by low real estate prices.

We learned that the John Muir Woods are overrun by local joggers, and you can’t just expect to park there and look around.

We learned that Point Reyes National Seashore is a worthwhile detour, even though your best hop is at least five hours, and that it is riddled with hiking trails and fearless deer.

Bongo (and the rest of the family) at Point Reyes National Seashore

We learned that the California coastal redwood is the tallest tree in North America, but it’s inland relation, the Sequoia, is the largest by mass.

As the highway leaves any small town, and goes down to a single lane, you will find yourself behind the ubiquitous LTDS = Local Truck Driven Slowly.

We learned that you can BBQ oysters, and that you can make them into a hamburger.

The the southern coast of Oregon is beautiful in every direction; and that nothing ever really dries there. Ever.

Ben learned that hammocks are defenseless against mist.

We learned that the ocean is colder than the rivers.

Penny and I discovered that we could be totally happy living in Coos Bay, Oregon – if we could find a way to make a living with our big city skill sets. (More a problem for me than Penny).

Bongo in Empire, OR, which may or may not be a part of Coos Bay.

 

We learned that you can’t take a bad picture of Crater Lake, but you can spend more in their snack bar than we did in a Lost Coast tourist restaurant and I had oysters and whisky on the Lost Coast.

Bongo at Crater Lake National Park

We learned that by day 10, your teenage kids are totally OK with you leaving them in the hotel for a few hours in order to have a couple drinks in a local bar. Totally OK. “Go on, you guys. Have fun. We’re fine.”

We learned that 850 miles is perilously close to the most you can drive in a crowded van without everyone losing their mind.

We learned that you can spend $100 in Farrell’s Ice Cream Shoppe, and still not really enjoy yourself. This has nothing to do with the food quality or the service. It has to do with the over-sized portions of everything, and – yes – the cost.

We learned that even when it’s 100F in LA, our kids still want to go to an amusement park.

We learned that two straight weeks of vacation is long enough.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1qb-Uw4C46eJCMGwqBSMbHv7hWFY&usp=sharing