My Many Reasons for Drinking Whiskey Right Now

As I write this, I have been up for 27 straight hours. This will not last much longer. I am drinking good whisky like water, and there are many reasons for that.

Because I’m running on fumes, I am blowing off all the usual links.

I have made word count for the last 2 weeks, mostly on Go Action Fun Time. We are blowing that off tonight too.

I did indeed go to MaricopaCon, where one of my two Go Action Fun Time sessions fired – as we say.  Meaning I had players.

Two dads and four kids under 12. So I cut the A plot and the B plot, and strung together a series of nuisance encounters and that constituted the actual episode.  This seemed to work. They clobbered giant scorpions, found a way to fly over the moat full of blood, and worked their way through five of the six insane encounter rooms.

Everyone had fun playing a game I made up. Cheers.

Mayan mythology – where I drew most of this material is seriously messed up – just so you know.

I came home from MaricopaCon to find the AC dead. Some investigation revealed filters clogged with enough hair to make whole new pets, and a coil covered in gunk, which was in turn covered in ice. I remedied all of that, and went to work.

I have been working overnights on my “day” job, because the building we are trying to finish is already occupied. The poor denizens of that cubicle farm have a hard enough existence without turning their lights on and off at random, as I do. So we work in the middle of the night sometimes.

Come back just before dawn and the AC is still not working. This would be a source of discontent.

Earl, having been recently homeless, was game to just suffer through. Julie found other places to be. I managed to sleep through most of the heat until about 4:30 yesterday afternoon. I have been awake ever since. Partly because I had to go back to work.

Without going into the objectively dull particulars of my job, I finished whispering to the lighting relays, and a job that has been plaguing me since February is finally done.

Cheers.

Came back home, and the AC guy I had hoped to see at seven said 10 was more realistic. OK.

I mowed the lawn – which was up to my knees in places. Cheers.

It wasn’t like I could go inside and cool off. Even so, I had an hour to fret about how I might come up with the three grand or so it would take to replace the AC unit. Also, I napped for maybe 20 minutes.

The AC guy  arrived, and quickly determined that the problem was not at the AC unit, but at the fuse-box.  OK- I had gotten that far, but only with a hot stick. The hot stick said that current was reaching the AC unit. A

A meter, though, revealed that only a fraction of the voltage was reaching the meter. The 3-phase exterior-handled disconnect panel that my grandfather probably kloodged in there had finally failed mechanically, and the blades no longer made full contact. It would have to be replaced.

This would be $250 if he did it, but even on short rest, I am an electrician. I can replace the box. That seemed to be the answer the AC guy was hoping for.

But not just right now – I had an appointment.

I went to the divorce shop and signed some documents in front of a notary. That’s not a happy reason to drink whiskey, but whiskey is called for nonetheless.

Cheers?

Then I bought the wrong fuse box, some printer ink and a handful of groceries.

My Epson XP440 won’t print in black unless is has ink in all three other cartridges either. This has been a source of discontent. But I bought the damn ink, because the $30 get me functional as opposed to $200 for an actual laser printer to Solve This Problem.

That day is coming, but today was about the AC.

It says 50 amps right there on the plate, so I take my 30A back and get a 50 amp. Then I climb up on the roof in the bright afternoon sunshine and verb with nouns until I get the damn thing in place.

I knocked out one of the holes too large for the fitting. Never ask how I fixed that.

I thought about carefully metering everything but nah. The proof of the wiring in in the humm. Flip the breaker and …

VICTORY OVER STUPID SHIT!

Cheers.

I have the haouse to myself tonight. Cheers.

The diamnodbnacjsm are winning . Cheers . Starting to get really fuixxxzy now. Maybe beers  soon. And a shower – a long overdue showers.

Soon we will be inandmmwairtbsiazzzzzzz.

 

Advertisements

Poorly blogging about smoke alarms in 3 or 5 acts

Every once in a while all I have learned in a week cannot be connected by anything particularly clever, and I just spew random facts.  I don’t even have anything to yell about. Next weekend I will be in town doing nothing that is open to the public or of general interest.

The most interesting parts of my life right now are off limits to this blog: the antics of my house-mates, finances (in any detail), and my still essentially non-existent love life. There is, to be clear, no actual news on any of those fronts. But there are plans, some clearly insane, and they are off limits here. Because I don’t want to break news to (or tip off) people who actually know me through my silly blog.

So lessons learned that are in-bounds, going roughly backwards through the week.

GAFT cover image

This is from the “Pilot Episode”

In the draft of Go Action Fun Time, I write at some length about how episodes (aka adventure or modules in other games) are broken into the traditional 3 act structure for a lot of reasons.

Episodic TV actually runs in five acts. But, in our defense, those are hour long dramas. We are simulating a half-hour action cartoon. Besides, I like what I wrote, and I am keeping to 3 acts.

I may though, go to 12 pt courier on everything, in line with these standards. 

 

On a busy construction site, late in the game (when guys like me saunter in) there will be active smoke alarms. And if your work makes a lot of smoke or dust, you will set these off, and this is bad. Especially if you’re working (as a hypothetical example)  on a partially occupied hospital. You might be tempted, rather than go through the process of filling out forms and getting clearance to bypass the alarms, to just tape over them. Don’t. Not just because it’s not the Right Procedure, and not just because the tape might not work anyway, but because the act of removing that tape will absolutely set off the alarm.

And then you find yourself standing in the warm sunshine of a late August morning in Phoenix with every other person on the jobsite while the GC goes on about this at some length, and threatens to dismiss the next clown he catches doing this.

Writer at work

The cheesy graphic Patel used. I learn from the best!

On occasion my curiosity mixes with abit of greed and I wonder how I might make some money off a blog. This leads me predictably to other blogs blogging about monetizing blogs. The best I’ve come across in NeilPatel.com, where the always upbeat Patel will explain with a breezy blog voice and a ton of screen-captured statistics how everything I do here at WHWL? is wrong.

  • My posts are too short (1800-2400 words is what you want for Google to take you seriously and yet still have a chance of someone finishing the article.  My posts weight in around 850)
  • My posts are not focused on a  single topic that would be known to attract readers. They are usually a little more focused than this, but not much. But I do not research possible topics by SEO strength.
  • My posts are not structured. I do not do number lists or this-then-that explainers.
  • I don’t have consistent video content.
  • I don’t have pop-up boxes asking you to subscribe.
  • I don’t buy targeted advertising

What impressed me most about Patel though is his easy-breezy writing voice that whisks you through some relative thick material before you even know it.

https://neilpatel.com/blog/how-to-become-a-better-blog-writer-in-30-days/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/content-marketing-works/

https://neilpatel.com/blog/the-future-of-seo/

 

There is no decent place to eat breakfast on a weekend morning in Show Low unless you are local. Conversely, I was able to get a decent breakfast with little drama in the far smaller burg of Overgaard. Go figure.

Bongo Overgaard

Breakfast in Overgaard

I was up in and around Show Low for a friend’s wedding. I shouldn’t get seriously drunk at wedding receptions, it seems. I’m still a bit too bitter.

I enjoyed the drive home though.

Bongo SaltRBridge

WORD COUNT

Last week’s What Have We Learned? = 1000 words

Monday Night Writer’s Group = 5000 words (even though I was the only one who showed up). (Again.)

2 hours editing Go Action Fun Time = 1000

2 hours revising my novelette “Enrinyes” = 1000

Good thing too! The file labelled “submittal copy” still had “2nd draft” pasted in the header among other problems.

Thursday night writer’s Group = 500 (this group is still well-attended!)

Hand-written draft of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk and beyond) = 900 words.

4900 words. Close enough.

[750 words]

What Value Book Events?

As I am calculating my word count for the week, what value, in words, do I put on sitting most of Saturday at the Payson Book Fest?

Sure, it took all day, but I only sold 2 books – and that counts a trade with another author. And this is at a book festival – presumably my target audience.

And it’s not as if no one was selling. The well-known and extroverted author across the aisle was selling a book an hour. He had several titles, the ability to cut deals, and a well-worn patter: “Hi! What do you like to read? Well, right here I have a book that’s vaguely like that. But just today I’ll sell you the whole series as a bundle for $12…”

My informal tracking had him landing a sale one out of three times.

I sold one, and she bought every separate title at our table, and had her money out before I even made my pitch.

I am not shy, but I am not pushy. I lack the chutzpah to pull people in like a carny. And, for the record, I am totally one of the people the extroverted author does not sell a book to. I have an elevator pitch “The adventure of Jack after the Beanstalk...”  and a few other lines from my marketing pitch, but you would have to come to me.

A few did, and they listened to my pitch, and said they would think about it and maybe come back. None did.

How do we value a well-intentioned waste of time?

Or was it wasted?

Besides the fact that I sold two more books than I would have binge-watching Narcos, there may some real, if hard to quantify value for doing these events. Because a lot of people go to these things and only buy a small fraction of the books they will eventually purchase. And a lot of them just come to window shop.

There is a vague thing in sales called the Rule of 7, which states, essentially, it takes seven contacts, or “touches”, with a potential customer before they even begin to think about a purchase. Those seven touches (on average) (and this theory varies widely by source) are why sellers add marketing on top of sales.

So if I think of it as marketing, then maybe some good? Maybe those two or three near misses I had  will buy the book later.

http://www.mysticpublishersinc.com/store/product/beanstalk-and-beyond/
The book you didn’t buy. There! I touched you!

That’s an awful lot of maybes to clear a Saturday for. But I camped afterwards in the coolish pines, and that was definitely worth it.

hammockrig

The part that was worth it.

 

WORD COUNT:

 

Last week’s WHWL? = 1000

Last week’s Monday night group = 500

Editing Go Action Fun Time with the new mechanic, and just cleaning up the copy, 3 hours at 500 words/hour = 1500

Thursday Night group = 500

Handwritten draft of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice = about 500 words.

(Written at the  Book Fest, as I was not barking like a carny).

If I count a Book Event at a thousand words – I hit my 5k goal.

In the end, it’s worth what I say it’s worth, isn’t it?

 

Now we know.

Word Count Returns

I have made word count for the first time in over a month and I am…

Wait. I have to shout something first. Stand back a bit, will ya? Thanks.

 

I WILL BE AT THE PAYSON FESTIVAL OF BOOKS ON JULY 21ST!

cropped-7k9a7367-1400x750-ver21

Yes, Payson – that dry little city in the pines where it will not be (quite) a hundred and fuck. I will be there selling books, officially, Beanstalk and Beyond, and unofficially, I will have some hiking guides handy as well.

Particulars:

The Payson Book Festival [http://www.paysonbookfestival.org/] will be held Saturday, July 21, 2018 from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Mazatzal Hotel and Casino, Hwy 87 mile marker 251, Payson, AZ 85541.

Authors from throughout the state will sign and sell fiction and non-fiction books of many genres. “Buckshot Dot” will share her original western poetry and songs. Other presenters include Liz Warren, fourth-generation Arizonan and nationally known storyteller, who will spin tales, YA author Janette Rallison, Science Fiction author J.L. Doty, author and screenwriter Tom Morrissey and APW author Patricia Brooks. Kids can meet the Cat in the Hat and Story Monster at storytime sessions. [website]

I’ll be at the Mystic Publishing booth #61 (out of 61).

https://goo.gl/maps/gC8uK5DakSD2

We have been warned that area hotels are full, (not from our event) so this may test my speed-camping skills. Normally, this would segway into a camping spot discussion, adorned with a link to my hiking blog, but that blog is still caput. {click here to see for yourself how well my publisher supports me}. {Yes, I am still angry}

I know places, though. Not a question of will I find a place to sleep. Just a question of whether I can make the meet and greet. 

Now that I have some control over my creative time, rebuilding that Are We Lost Yet? needs to make the agenda.

It competes, at the moment, with Go Action Fun Time. My day at Crit Hit filled me with renewed optimism for this project (both my game sessions filled) and I have developed a streamlined dice mechanic that made those sessions much easier to manage.

If you’ve played Go Action Fun Time, the next paragraph will make some sense. If you haven’t, I will not fault you for skipping down.

GAFT does not yet have a separate blog in which I would drivel on about the new mechanic, so let me spew it out briefly here: Instead of Core + Stats + Talents + Focus each adding (or subtracting) dice from the roll, only the Core ios represented by dice. The rest are just straight adds to the roll.  Much faster. We tested this at Crit Hit.

GAFT Foxhunt color2

The (evil) uplifted fox inexplicably survived.

I have a tentative  commitment to a gaming con in California in October (because my rescue hobo talks me into this sort of crap), and my ambitious goal is to have a published version of the game for sale by that point, even if only a PDF.

But I have to re-write the rules between here and there.

WORD COUNT:

We go Sunday night to Sunday night.

WHWL from July 9 = 1000 words.

Monday night writer’s group counts as 500, even though, because of rain and vacations, I was the only one who showed up.

Fantastical History from July 10 about lessons from Leprecon  = 1000 words.

Editing One of 64 in preparation to hand off to an editor (in preparation for eventual self publishing) = 500 words.

Submitting a short story to Clarkesworld (which they efficiently rejected = 500 words.

[I over-value submissions because I want to encourage myself to submit).

Thursday night writer’s group = 500 words.

Two playtests of Go Action Fun Time at Crit Hit = 1000 words

[500 words each – as a critique group meeting, because it has a similar function.]

Finishing the hand-written draft of the Isle of Monks chapter of Taliesin’s Last Apprentice (the sequel to Beanstalk and Beyond) = 1000 words. (well, likely closer to 750.)

So 5750 words.

That means good whiskey.

Well, moderate whiskey – I’m shaving some costs to make that bet with the credit card company.

Now we know.

[660 words]

 

After the Shuffle

Before we begin, I need to shout something. Stand back a pace. Thank you.

I WILL BE AT CRIT HIT NEXT SATURDAY RUNNING GO ACTION FUN TIME!

Game 1, 10am Saturday: The Blistering Death of the Congo

hill-prehistoric-survivors-fb

Game 2:  8pm Saturday: The Fox Who Hunted Back

GAFT Foxhunt color2

(These are the games I was scheduled to run at Comic Fest but did not go off for reasons.)

Ok. The actual blog starts …. now!

If you spend any time on Facebook following my antics, you will already know that Earl has moved back in. This time until November, and that required moving my life around.

For new readers, Earl documents most of his life on Facebook, and I have been dragged along in that wake. So one of many reasons I resist making this blog about Earl and his antics, is that they are recorded in reasonable detail elsewhere.

26730637_1486716948093500_4795116136154884148_n

Earl upstaging me, as is oft his habit.

In the process of moving furniture about and stopping to fix things that were hidden by the previous arrangement, I feel like a got a lot done, but not much of that was writing. However, that dust is clearing, and I hope to start making word count again.

I learned enough at Leprecon that it merits a separate post.

OK, one antic: Earl threw a party a my house and was kind enough to invite me. Again, I refer you to FB for any details. As a result, I have more seafood and beer than I am likely to consume before it spoils – and I am really quite fond of seafood and beer.

I recite this fact to soothe myself when I grow anxious about the bet I just made with one of my last credit cards.

Desert Financial doesn’t offer credit cards anymore, but I had one with their name on it and a fairly large balance. And I thought I was auto-paying minimum payments to that account for a good five months before the actual financial institution that runs the credit card called me wondering where their money was.

Let me save you an hour on the phone and three separate visits to the branch: they were stashing it in a savings account I forgot I had.

So I didn’t lose the money, but the minimum I was paying was about half the actual minimum, and now I’m five months behind. That put me in range of their settlement formula. I took that deal.

So now I have until the end of September to come up with just under a month’s pay to settle the card. Which is plausible but by no means certain. Success relies upon finding some side-work, and avoiding disaster. I have not relied on dumb luck like this for my finances for at least ten years – I am out of the habit.

But this week at least, I have plenty of beer and seafood.

If you take that as an invitation, well. Earl is likely home.

Some random facts:

Lamb poop does not particularly smell.

Firefly the boardgame is complex but well designed, and playable while still holding tight to the flavor of the show. It is a master-class in game design – that will consume your entire evening.

 

The Verse that ate your entire evening

Diet Coke can clean just about anything, among its many other documented uses.

But if you made it to the bottom I’ll confess a secret: I do not buy beverages for a party that I will not personally drink, absent of a specific, advance request.. If you poison yourself with diet soda, bring your own.

Weird facts about my Soul

KIMG0762

A few years ago, I traded in my Chevy Sonic for a 2013 Kia Soul. My children rejoiced, saying, “Look! Dad finally has a soul. I mean, it’s black inside and full of garbage, but he finally has a soul.”

Then, “Can we borrow your soul Dad?”

And so forth.

My 2011 Chevy Sonic, for context, was a panic buy to replace my beloved Equinox, which had a gas tank issue. Once your wife is envisioning your vehicle going up in a ball of flame, you have no choice but to sell it.

The Sonic is like a sports-car made by east European communists. It’s is surprisingly fast (because it uses the same engine block as the larger cars in Chevy’s fleet car line) and handles decently, because it is small. And everything in the interior feels cramped, just like a sports-car. But it is a fleet car, engineered to fall apart after 80k miles or so.

While I could drive it like a maniac, putting four adults inside felt like a clown car stunt, and things were starting to fall off. So we went to the dealership and came home with the Hyundai Veracruz, and my Soul.

Early on in my ownership of it, someone asked me about it, and I told them that it was the best MP3 player I had ever driven. They do seem to have put more thought into the media system than any other part. The speakers have LED rims that change color with the music. I never saw that as a selling point when I purchased it, but they have come to amuse me.

KIMG0760

Its is boxy, mediocre in both acceleration and climbing, and the fuses jiggle loose from time to time. It has no roof rack. You will feel every bump in the road – every one. Those are my complaints. All of them.

Four adults can fit within with some dignity. I can actually fit a lot of things in it – for boxy=roomy. When I moved 1000 feet north, most of the things made the journey in my Soul. My lawn furniture and gas grill came home in my Soul. But it’s not a truck, so people don’t ask me to move stuff for them all the time.

It has a tight turning radius and a relatively high ground clearance. It gets around 20 mph even when I drive it the way I do. I made it 80K miles before it needed any major service.

KIMG0761

This might be its best feature!

Of course, I need it to go another 60K miles at least. I have three years left on the $15k note secured by my Soul that is generously valued at about $5k. How the hell do you get $10k upside down on a car loan?

You wreck a car without the means to make a cash down payment, or even cover the insurance deductible. So you find yourself at the mercy of whatever scheme the dealership puts together. The Soul (and the Veracruz) were the fourth generation of cars coming off the lot with this debt still buried in the financing somehow.

When we bought it, this Kia Soul had a big rebate, so magically, this is the car they buried that debt inside.

I owe a lot more on my Soul than my Soul is worth. My Soul has been used to hide previous sins.

KIMG0759

I do not own my Soul.

Somehow the only name on either the title or the loan paperwork is that of my (soon-to-be-ex) wife. She does not know how that happened either.  She has a completely different car now. The Soul remains my primary vehicle, even though, after the divorce, I will have no legal ownership of it.

Sometimes, when I project the payments out over time, I daydream about saving up a down payment, and just leaving this thing in the parking lot of the credit union that actually owns it. But that would be Wrong.

After all, I’m the one who wrecked that car I have yet to finish paying off.

In a year at RC Lurie I put 20k miles on that car. That’s a fact that will shut a car salesman up about leasing options. Those are hard miles, city traffic, construction sites, lost on back roads. My Soul has already taken a beating.

I have become fond of the Soul I am driving to death without any real hope of ever paying off. Good thing, because I just dropped $800 on brake repairs and a long list of maintenance items.  (My local mechanic is a master of never fixing just one thing, and since I cannot abide multiple trips to the garage, I am his lawful prey here).

So I choose, for now, to keep my Soul, even if it isn’t legally mine. It works for me. And there is speculation that Kia cars can go 200k if treated right. So maybe I can get mine to 140? We shall see.

And I can always add a roof rack later.

Consumer Reports on the 2013 Soul. They even make a little joke about the interior.

Go Action Fun Time Full Beta season has some time/space coordinates

Go Action Fun time is my role playing game about teenage superheroes travelling through time and space.  More on that project can be found here: https://sites.google.com/site/goactionfuntime/home

GAFT cover image

This is from the “Pilot Episode”

In the spirit of emulating a TV cartoon show, episodes are organized into seasons,and the first full Beta season is being finalized, and we have dates and times for  the first three episodes, and approximations for the first half of the season.

Many of these episodes will be played out at science fiction/fantasy conventions, or gaming conventions in town over the summer. In most of those cases, participating would require having a membership at that convention.

Others will be hosted at my house – where all you have to do is show up.

Go Action Fun Time is designed as a drop-in role playing game. You do not need to have participated in any of the previous episodes to be included in the next. I will have pre-generated characters available.

These are the known episode Time/space coordinates:

 

The Dinosaurs of Old St. Louis: [S01;E01]

Arizona Game Fair – part of Phoenix Comic Fest at the Phoenix Convention Center

West building, 2nd Floor

RPG Room, Table 4

26 May 2018 3:00pm.

A Tyrannosaurus Rex has emerged through a crack in time into 1854 St Louis. You will return it. Try not to attract attention.

hill-prehistoric-survivors-fb

The Blistering Death  [S01:E02]

Arizona Game Fair – part of Phoenix Comic Fest at the Phoenix Convention Center

West building, 2nd Floor

RPG Room, Table 4

26 May 2018 7:30pm.

A plague is ravaging the tribes along the prehistoric Congo. You will cure it.

GAFT Foxhunt color2

The Fox Who Hunted Back [S01;E03]

Arizona Game Fair – part of Phoenix Comic Fest at the Phoenix Convention Center

West building, 2nd Floor

RPG Room, Table 2

27 May, 2018 11:00am

Package delivery in far future Scotland is hampered by berserk security, moving piles of garbage and an uplifted fox holding an ancient grudge.

 

The Silk Road Part 2 [S01;E04]

My house

9 June 2018. Time TBD.

You will transport the goods you bought in a future episode (because time travel) along the fabled Silk Road, across the burning wastes of 7th century western China.

 

Yes, That Lusitania.  [S01;E05]

Leprecon 44 – Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

22-24 June 2018

Solve a mystery aboard the great luxury liner hours before it sinks.

 

“We are all Sam” [S01;E06]

Leprecon 44

Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

22-24 June 2018

Confront the terrible secret beneath a besieged city full of clones.

 

Ragana’s Tower [S01;E07]

Leprecon 44 – Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

22-24 June 2018

Rescue the princess from the dragon, whether she wants you to or not.

 

The Silk Road Part 1 [S01;E08]

Crit Hit

Doubltree Suites – Phoenix (Airport)

320 N 44th Street

14 July 2018

The fabled Silk Road stretches across the breadth of Asia and was used as a central trade route for centuries. You will buy something here in 2nd century China and sell it on the other side … someday.

 

Sparkle and Bleed [S01;E09]

Crit Hit

Doubltree Suites – Phoenix (Airport)

320 N 44th Street

15 July 2018

Attend the homecoming dance in a small town in 1950’s Nebraska along with warring gangs of vampires and werewolves.

 

The Silk Road Part 3 [S01;E10]

My house

28 July 2018

A thousand miles across western Asia, racing mongol hordes and  your fellow time travelers.

 

Living Forever in the City of Gold [S01;E11]

MaricopaCon

Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix Airport

3422 E. Elwood St.

11 August 2018

Mayan mythology is seriously messed up. Really. OMG.

 

How the West was Shot to Hell [S01;E12]

MaricopaCon

Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix Airport

3422 E. Elwood St.

12 August 2018

An auto-race across the apocalyptic west surrounded by killer robots and zombies and aliens.

 

Yi and the Nine Suns [S01;E13]

CokoCon

Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

1 September 2018

Did you know Earth once had nine suns? Well, maybe they were spaceships…

 

Something Rotten 2kms over Denmark [S01;E14]

CokoCon

Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

1 September 2018

A murder mystery in a floating castle of the far future. Based on Shakespeare – sort of.

 

The Peak of Mount Atlas [S01E15]

CokoCon

Doubltree Hilton North (Metrocenter)

2 September 2018

The highest mountain in Atlantis is sacred and forbidden. Climb it anyway.

 

This is as far into the future as I dare speculate.

Yes, I have been busy. We will fill everybody in as time allows.